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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Frater Breklor Bonaconkin, U.P.M.'s LiveJournal:

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    Thursday, March 24th, 2011
    9:13 am
    CAMPBELL IS HITLER... OF PARTIES!!!
    (This discussion is heavily paraphrased.)

    The other day Cherise and I were walking past CelticFest, where they'd closed off Granville, and she asked, "Why do they have CelticFest in the middle of downtown, instead of somewhere nice and green?"

    I responded, "Well, aside from the fact that there's not that much green around right now, I think one of the good things that came out of the 2010 Olympics - okay, there weren't a lot of good things - but the one really good thing is that Vancouver learned how to throw a street party. We learned we could do it without drinking and fighting and we could block off a street and have a really good time."

    Cherise shook her head. She simply refused to accept that anything good could be attributed to the Olympics. "Nope, nuh-uh, not buying it!"

    "Look, it's like the Volkswagen," I continued. "Hitler was a giant evil meanie and a jerk, but the Volkswagen was his baby, and hey, those are pretty cool. Especially the Bugs and the Vans. You can totally like the Volkswagen and still think Hitler was evil. Street parties are Campbell's Volkswagen."

    But she was not persuaded.

    What do YOU think?
    Sunday, February 27th, 2011
    7:48 pm
    The Joker's Private Thugs
    Oh the year it was two thousand twelve
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    When a whitefaced clown in purple and green
    Came to the scummiest bar I've ever seen
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    The Joker giggled as he bought a round
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    For twenty vile thugs all fit to hang
    Who'd be his latest circus gang
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    His crazy laugh was a sickening sound
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    He had clown suits for us, every one
    And he kept saying we'd have so much fun
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fire no guns, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    At a quarter to one we drove away
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    All twenty-one crammed in his damn clown car
    As we left, the Clown Prince blew up the bar
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    At Pier 96 we all piled out
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    There were Russian Mafia in the dark
    With their henchmen near and their limos parked
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    The Russians stood around a crate
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    With the Lexcorp logo burned into the wood
    I knew it couldn't be any good
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    Then we all snuck up in the evening fog
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    Our Saturday Specials made an awful noise
    But their AK-47s made them look like toys
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    The Bat swooped down from the skies above
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    When a stray round hit the Lexcorp crate
    The explosion carried him to his fate
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears


    So here I lay in an awful mess
    How I wish I was in Metropolis now
    Nothing left of the Bat but one black ear
    Which fell into my lap in the blood & beer
    God damn them all
    I was told we'd cruise the docks for smugglers' gold
    We'd fight no cops, spill no beers
    Now I'm a broken man on a Gotham pier
    With the last of Batman's pointy ears.
    Sunday, January 23rd, 2011
    9:47 pm
    ELVIS IS GOD AND HERE IS PROOF.
    We know that the banana is proof of God.

    We also know that peanut butter is proof of God.

    And bacon is the food so tasty, at least three major religions won't eat it.

    Elvis' favourite food was peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwiches.

    HAIL E(LV/R)IS.

    fnord.
    Tuesday, July 6th, 2010
    12:45 pm
    Little teeny lights!

    Heyo!

    A couple of weeks ago, I was at a wedding where the tables were all decorated with those spherical Chinese-style paper lanterns. Inside each one was a teeny metal-cased white-LED lamp with a wire loop for hanging. The lamp part was about 2-3 cm (1") long. Does anyone know where I might be able to buy a bunch of these things in the Vancouver area?

    Thanks!!!

    12:44 pm
    Little teeny lights!

    Heyo!

    A couple of weeks ago, I was at a wedding where the tables were all decorated with those spherical Chinese-style paper lanterns. Inside each one was a teeny metal-cased white-LED lamp with a wire loop for hanging. The lamp part was about 2-3 cm (1") long. Does anyone know where I might be able to buy a bunch of these things in the Vancouver area?

    Thanks!!!

    Thursday, July 1st, 2010
    12:01 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 11:32 The elevator smells like pickles. #

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    Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
    12:01 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 11:33 @Nickadee: What about the lady who sells ice cream? #

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    Friday, June 11th, 2010
    12:01 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 16:34 At the end of the nude bar's business day, is it clothing time? #

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    Thursday, June 10th, 2010
    12:02 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:
    • 10:52 THE SALMON PEOPLES HAVE STOLED ALL MY CHILDERS!!! I AM A DISEMBODIED FOOT WITH RUFFLES #
    • 11:03 I could paint my bum yellow so it would be a sun instead of a moon! #
    • 11:20 They should make a Twix bar with bacon in place of the cookie layer. Bacon Twix FTW!!! #
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    Monday, May 24th, 2010
    12:02 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 03:33 @donnaidh_sidhe: mine's Stormbringer (Elric's mighty runeblade; it sometimes argued with him and especially liked to impale his friends...) #

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    Saturday, May 22nd, 2010
    12:06 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 09:25 Just because something is flammable and in public space doesn't mean you are allowed to set it on fire. #stupidrules #

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    Friday, May 14th, 2010
    12:00 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:
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    Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
    12:00 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:
    • 14:54 Don't force me to beat you savagely. Asking politely should suffice. #
    • 16:32 There should be a word for people where you don't really talk much but if you ever got stranded on a desert island you totally would. #
    • 16:48 My son is like a bowling ball: he's not evil, but I don't want to drop him on my toe. #
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    Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
    12:03 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 18:00 When planning a murder-suicide, please do the suicide part first. #

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    Saturday, April 24th, 2010
    12:03 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:
    • 16:15 If the seventies were the Me Generation, this is definitely the iGeneration... #
    • 17:01 Oo! Gooba fish! #
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    Friday, April 23rd, 2010
    12:02 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:
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    Thursday, April 22nd, 2010
    12:02 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:

    • 15:52 RT @moizissimo: NOT lube: "...that's spirit gum, and as such not remotely amusing, even in sport." #

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    Tuesday, April 20th, 2010
    12:01 am
    How I tweet when I tweet is this, see:
    • 16:49 Moo horse! P'dow, p'dow - all the really big socks are in hiding. Face the labrys! #
    • 16:51 Libraries are gateways to imagination and wonder... All the more so if someone's drizzled a little blotter acid 'tween the pages... #
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    Monday, April 5th, 2010
    10:22 pm
    Last minute crashspace!

    Julie and Gareth and I are all coming down for Honk Fest! I have crashspace, but they are uncertain about theirs. If you have floorspace or couchage for two happy, low-impact guests and a tuba (which will not honk unless you are OK with that) for this Friday and Saturday night, please let me know! Thanks!

    (I will post my schedule later.)

    Friday, March 26th, 2010
    2:36 pm
    A thing I thinked

    Vast numbers of people have access to the Internet, and who therefore have access to many tools of creativity (MovieMaker, Photoshop, and just plain ol' word processing), but very few of them have either formal education in the forms or basic talent in the styles. It's like the "million monkeys on typewriters" adage… except that, in addition to rewriting Shakespeare, these monkeys also occasionally create ATOMIC ZOMBIE DINOSAUR SHAKESPEARE WITH CHAINSAWS – flashes of greatness that drip off the far tip of the bell-curve like distilled essence of awesome.

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